29 April, 2014

Mumbai meri jaan!

10 months in Mumbai. Well, I can’t say I don’t know how time flew. This city is the very first place where I have come to live out of my so called 'home', out of my comfort zone. A place where I have created a home away from home. This indeed is the city of dreams. I came here with a lot of happiness, joy and hope (newly married and all that). Now I feel completely satisfied about the decision I made to moving into a new city (mind you, I did have an option to live and work in Madras also)

Getting married to the person whom who you chose to fall in love is indeed a blessing. We (me and Abishek) got married without a second thought in our mind, very thoughtless (in a good sense). There was no question of ‘is he the right man’ in my mind nor anything about ‘how are we going to manage the responsibilities?’ for us it was about being together (I think) nothing else mattered. The struggle period (the dealing with the family part, the wedding preparation part) wasn't much fun but now when I look back, that entire struggle has made me strong and this relationship even better. In fact I have grown up to forgive few people and forget few incidents, it has become a part of the past.

Life has been very kind, I have made better choices; the past few months have been about a lot of work, some amazing travel, little gardening and me budding into a cook who can actually prepare a tasteful meal for few people (read that as 5). 

I have a summer vacation for few weeks and would like to blog more about the travel tales, mostly in and around Maharashtra  (less writing, more photos and some useful information). Would you show some love? J

04 October, 2013

Engathula Golu vachurukka... vethalai paaku vaangikka vaango!

The very thought of not being home to help Amma with arranging those boxes and boxes of dolls,  spreading those pattu sarees on the padis, setting them to perfection, using all extra dabbas to make extra padis, eating two neiveidhyams per day, visiting a dozen other golus but getting back home to tell that every visit was very 'sumaar' , nammathu golu maadhiri ille... Seeing her wear that madisaar every single morning and read sthoramaala , praying so sincerely to Ambal and shooing me away 'please ma, poi  thalaiya vaari poo vachuko' 

Appa would have kattified the very old steel padi.. which we intend to change every year, but never did for the past 18 years. 

Amma would have very sincerely wiped every single doll, I don't know if she remembers where the golden powder is to paint all the kreedom ... I did it every year. 

She would have dutifully made garlands from the beads which she got from the Mylapore korathi, at least a dozen new ones every year. 

The uruli and all the other pithalai paatharam would have undergone the pithaambari and puli ritual... now the uruli will happily be the host for all those pavizhamallis and paneer roses from our garden. May be she is contemplating or even being scared if she has arranged them properly for I had an OCD towards arranging them in a way (only my way was right, and I knew I did it to perfection) 

I never felt married or being away from home till then... till I realized that I am not going hear Amma say 'indha 9 naalavadhu seekaram aathukku vaa ma, konjam nalla chudidhaara pottukoyen.... unakku naan ore oru naal jadai thechu vidatta' :') 

17 June, 2013

I just don't get the point

This part of my life is called being utterly bored.

I am back to Chennai after more than a month. Yes, I think it is perfectly fine to be away from home for a training just before days of your wedding. I supposedly planned well. I finished all my shopping way ahead and I was all geared up to leave the city.

The training was strenuous. It was not your regular AC room presentations or lab work. It was about teaching. Being on the field, literally. Crazy schedules, crazier deadlines. Busy weekdays, busier weekends. I had no time to miss anything or anybody. I was trying to stay sane and as they called it 'being gentle to myself' or rather trying to.

After working close to 14 hours a day, getting back home was a relief. Wait. It is a relief for 2 no almost 4 days.  But then there is something called boredom. As a bride-to-be I am expected to stay home , be well fed and rested. No going out to meet anyone. I missed taking the local trains and share autos. I don't feel normal.

Major part which irritates me is that I am shitty nervous. Not about getting married. It is about the wedding day.


1) I have to look nice all the time.
- Not possible. This city is humid and hot, I am scared I might sweat like a pig. I don't mind dressing up for one occasion but since it is a tambrahm wedding, dude honestly I wish I were a boy now. Honestly. Life would have been much much easier. Changing silk sarees, one after the other. I had zaris on my dream once, or may be twice. Madness.

2) Too much focus
-literally. Please go click pictures of the groom also no? Ask him to turn left right and centre. Ask him to sit with hands on cheek, chin and forehead.
-Go check which brand watch, suit and underwear he is wearing, ask him if he went to the saloon and got a spa treatment for his hair , ask him if his underarms are neatly shaved. Please go.

3) Are you excited? It's the happiest day of your life.
-Dude, trust me. I'd be excited about a holiday to Bali, or if I'd planned for a backpacking trek. Or if I cleared TISS entrance. I am honestly NOT excited. I am nervous. I am hyperventilating about the n-number of fake smiles I have to encounter and produce , about the shit loads of make up I have to wear.
-I know the guy already. I am honestly happy that our family will not question us on 'why are you so late home' and they can't because we are moving away to a new city. Yes, I am extremely excited about it.
-It is an happy occasion. Not the happiest day of my life. I will smile, because I have to. I will most definitely cry because tambrahm weddings are designed that way and I will see my mother crying, chain reaction.
-My sister isn't here.I would have been much happier, much saner if she and my newly born nephew were here. Because shit happens all the time and her plans got screwed up. I lost the tiny little excitement that I had for the past few months.
-I can have sex without worrying about the condom slip or an emergency pill. Exciting? Most definitely.

Indian weddings suck big time. One (at least me) gets married just to satisfy the parents. There is honestly nothing too joyous about these. I at least did not enjoy preparing for my wedding and I'd have put this money on holidays or my education.

I don't get the point of weddings. I just don't get the point of big weddings.

I am not trying to be on practical cool shitty idiot. Nor sound pessimistic. Cynical, may be. Weddings for sure are over-rated.

P.S : I am chill-maadiying at home watching Crazy Mohan and Goundamani comedy, I am not barking at anyone. (Just clarifying that this isn't one more bridezilla post)

19 April, 2013

Title and all can't be given, because there is no way to describe awesomeness

A year of madness, so many awesome people! Just looking back at the past one year with NalandaWay and feeling very elated.  This place has made my world wonderful. And, I have learnt that even 'grey' is a colour. Three cheers to all those wonderful people , happy moments and here is a \m/ for more awesomeness ! Love! Life! Happiness and euphoria...

Well, a year and more NalandaWay is almost a second home for me.

 Joining a non-profit organisation was a conscious decision, a decision which I had taken after much contemplation. I knew it wasn't going to be easy. 

The journey was tough, but it has been life-changing. May be the universe conspired and helped me to be wherever I am right now. It feels good when you are being mentored, that is what those awesome folks at NalandaWay did for me. They were helping me, but not spoon feeding me. They guided me, they let me make mistakes, they let me learn and also un-learn. I have learnt that you will always receive help, all one needs to do is ask for it. There is hope, there are good souls in this world. I have learnt to work hard, even harder towards what one has to accomplish. Also, I have learnt from my boss-mentor-friend Sriram ' Never, never, never give-up' 

This is an ode to all those passionate , fun-loving , awesome folks who have been a part of my journey in the past one year. 


So, I decided to write after months and months. Life is getting 'updated' and hence I thought I'd write here. Too much confusion on whether to retain this blog or the tumblr one , finally I decided I'll stay loyal to my good old blog.

This blog has one MAJOR update it terms of the 'about me' , so finally I am a teacher after envisaging for almost the past 17 years (or-so) , there is one major emo post coming up about this journey.

Also, I am getting married and am moving to a new city (YAY). Well, the marriage part is all nice but very stressful! What is more exciting to me is this shift to Bombay.

So this is the current state : ''To-be maami, to-be teacher, to-be Bombaywali'' , to-be continued...

Disclaimer :  I louwe Madras , but then I think it is high time I move away.

03 November, 2012

What if she was a terrorist?

How careless one could be to have forgotten their mobile phone at workplace and not to have realized it till having boarded a train? Well, #YaItsMe . Slightly panic mode was on as I realized that my phone wasn’t there inside my bag nor inside my denim pockets, but I had my doubts if I had left it back at my workplace. So, I got down from the train at Mambalam station only to be so frustrated in finding the PCO booth (which seem to be a rarity these days) but I did find one, but the goddamn phone wasn’t working :| #ThirdWorldProblems , then I went to the VLR stall where I asked the guy if there was a phone which I could use
Me: Anna, phone? (I almost did a Bharatnatiyam to enact it) 
He: There is one booth near the steps
Me:Andha phone velai seyyalai
He: Oh, nalla thamizh pesareengale… 
Me: :| 
Then, a very kind gentleman offered me his mobile phone I refused politely but he said ”Ille medam, edho urgency dhaane use pannikonga’ , So, I called up my mobile (I don’t remember any other number by heart ) and no one answered. Once, twice.. no use. Then I took my visiting card and rang my office land line, thankfully Boss was still there and he said my phone was indeed at office. 
I thanked the gentleman and took the train back to work (what all idiocy during a weekend), haggled with the auto-driver, who replied to me in English despite me talking in Thamizh :-/ (#Posh Medras auto-drivers are posh) and finally reached my workplace where Boss was roaring with laughter. 
The matter is, the very kind gentleman who had offered me his mobile phone had called up office (from dialed numbers #WellOfCourse) and asked what place was this, who were I and lots of questions, Boss thanked him for the help and told I had forgotten my mobile and this #KindGentleman and said ‘Sir, please give me the details I had asked for, What if she was a terrorist’  
:D Loff and let loff, happy weekend y’all! 

02 September, 2012

K for kollywood , B for Blade

‘If music is a religion, mottai is God’… Anybody who had known me long enough or has been following me on #twitter would know by now that I worship Ilayaraja’s music. Last even was a test to my faith, no not in terms of the quality of #Mottai ‘s music but I had to endure a lot of talk which made no sense to me, also which wasted a lot of time and provided sleeping pills to a lot like me. 
‘Nethaan en ponvasantham’ (#NEPV) is Gautham Vasudev Menon’s new flick which has Mottai’s music. GVM’s movies has a set of audience which he has earned through the past 10 years or so and with IR rarely composing film music these days , you obviously know how much hype has surrounded the movie which launched the trailer just few months ago. 
Yesterday was the audio launch of NEPV, which had a live concert of Mottai at Nehru Indoor stadium, the organizers were very kind and had very generously agreed to donate 50% of the funds towards the NGO which I work for. 
I was really thrilled. Attending a live concert for the second consecutive year, damn my stars must be really lucky. I had to bite my tongue and swallow my words later. 
The program was supposed to start by 6.30pm , like every other #Kollywood show even this did not start on time. We waited till 7.15, only to witness a very winding and badly made AV on Raja with the musicians of his orchestra praising him. And ‘Ilaya nila pozhigiradhe’ was slaughtered to death with Mano’s nasal voice… 
”Hurray to Hungary” 
Here comes very few ”nice” parts of the concert, I listened to a symphony for the very first time in my life, the concert last December had 7 members from Budapest here. But this time the entire orchestra were present and I have only one word to describe them- ”Stupendous” . They performed very few selected numbers of Mottai (from the 80’s and early 90’s) , like Putham pudhu kaalai, Raaja Kaiya vacha and Sundari kannal oru seidhi (from the Anupallavi-the war beat to the Charanam) such perfect co-ordination, very well orchestrated and performed just to blow our minds, it was soul-stirring to be very honest. Yet again, #Mottai is the boss here. Compositions which are older than a decade sound evergreen, stir your soul and leave you in awe. 
K for Kollywood, B for Blade. 
Never in my life will I attend a Kollywood based function again. I had enough yesterday, one area where Mottai fails. He needs his ego massaged every now and then, so yesterday we witnessed the people who have a Permanent Gold card membership in ego-massage club for Mottai. 
GVM - this man usually talks a lot when he gets hold of a mike and yesterday he also sang (err,#ok) well, it was his movie so the audience had to undergo this punishment at own cost (sondha selavula suniyam) 
Everybody starting from Santhanam (well, he did provide some moments of comic relief , but he too sang praises of ‘whyIlayarajaisthegreatestmusician’ , Then came Bharathiraja  __/\__ (en iniya thamizh makkale), and he kept saying he ‘Laowes Ilayaraja’ , and ‘he is the man’ , words like Hightegh and Gowdham made few of us go ROFL. 
BaluMahendra… all of us had tears. Because 70% of the audiences had started yawning by this time. 
Suriya was called upon the stage to ‘introduce’ a song, he was jumping up and down, over-killed, and was again repeating ‘whyIlayarajaisthegreatestmusician’ in a different tense and speech, spoke 1 line about the #NEPV song and left. 
K for Kollywood, B for Blade- KB is the blade master. Enuff said. 
Suraj Jagan’s performance of ‘Pudikala maamu’ was out of the place, he was dancing and performing like no one was watching. 
Karthik did a fabulous performance with his ‘Kaatrai konjam’ , he was amazing as usual. The one guy of this generation of singers who does justice to a tune by Mottai. 
The title track ‘Neethaane enthan ponvasantham’ by Sunitha Sarathy was a Pathos and had Mottai stamped all over the song. 
There was this man named ‘Yuvan Shankar Raja’ who cannot sing without autotune, his Saindhu saindhu has a intoxicating lull to it, but Yuvan CANNOT sing live, but the female vocalist Ramya has a beautiful voice. Brilliant diction and great pitch. She saved and made up for Yuvan’s sloppy show. 
And dearest members of Kollywood, world knows that Mottai is one maestro, why beat about the same bush ?? Very disappointed. 

The same post can be found at http://pavadanada.tumblr.com/ 

04 March, 2012

just not fair?

Boredom makes me watch tv...advertisements interest me a big deal! having grown up in the 90s I have seen some lovely ads... Old Cadbury's, Titan, Raymonds, Dhara, Amul... All those ads made TV watching such a pleasure...

I now watch these ads with so much sulk on my face. Well, just have a look what do we have for ads


annnnndddd this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLx8u4eESAA&feature=related

all of these portray one bloody thing! and that is

only a fair skin is a way to Success... any sensible human is supposed to be offended by the message that these ads convey... The clever marketing strategy ''touching the exact nerve'' ... Well we must agree that at some point deep inside those layers of skin there is a cringe worthy likeness towards the fairer skin. Blame us. Only because of the attitude we carry do these companies manufacture , pack , advertise and sell these crap.

Seriously! how much time, money and effort go waste in making these loser of ads?

how long is it going to take to realize that there isn't anything sensible in any of these???

Blame the matrimony columns:

A huge amount of blame has to be done on the matrimony columns which say 'wanted Fair,slim looking homely girl' 

 Dear folks, 
                       what exactly is wrong in being dusky? Aren't you educated enough to understand that in a tropical country like India its not possible for everyone to be 'fair skinned' ? what could be done if its not encoded in the genetic make-up? 

and woman succumb to this crap? How on earth can something which is associated with your Genetics and geography be changed by using some weird chemical combination over a period of time? If all these drama are going to be true then how fake are you? What a wimp are you then to not accept reality and accept a mask? can you really survive inside that for all your life? Is a relationship only skin deep? If yes, do you really want that? Isn't it nauseating to even think about this?

Actually most of the fairness cream contains bleaching agent called ’hydroquinol’ .other chemical substances are also present in these cream. If the bleaching percentage is between 3- 4 %, it is ok as per side effects are concerned. But most of them do not mention the  % of the chemicals on the packets. Long-term use of these creams may cause cancer, kidney problem, irritation & disfigure of skin etc.
(ref- http://chouhow.sulekha.com/blog/post/2007/09/dark-truth-of-the-fairness-cream.htm)

Many black people, particularly women, have tried to lighten their skin. But lightening creams have, so far, been dangerous.
Some contain mercury, which causes neurological and kidney damage, speech and hearing impairments and psychiatric disorders. Others include hydroquinone, which causes blue-black discolouration and leads to neuropathy, a neurological disease.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-442466/Change-eye-colour-skin-tone-popping-pill.html#ixzz1oDpvqa3f 

Looking presentable is totally different from hiding inside layers of cream which will make you look like you just dipped your face inside a box of bleaching powder!


  • --> there isn't anything wrong with being dark skinned
  • -->black is a color too and it is beautiful
  • --> people who accept you for your complexion DO NOT deserve you
  • -->skin colour and intelligence are NOT directly related
  • -->skin colour is no measure for talent, achievement and world records for the matter of fact
  • -->being fair alone boosts your self-confidence? you badly need a mental check-up and there is something wrong with your basics... 

if you just aren't proud about the way you look , there is no other sore-loser than you... hahahaha your face! 

and lastly these...

if ever you did this then the message is loud and clear!

my face! 

how cheeky and cute is that! 

Possibly related/also read -- http://sweetie1.hubpages.com/hub/Fairness-Creams

Disclaimer : I am not ranting because am dusky and not fair.  I do not claim that I don't use any make-up. Am not feminist. This is no go-green post. Am not endorsing any particular product, nor am I disappointed because of the lack of results from a cream.